Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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