do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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