my sisters under your porch take her home
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
