hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
