Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
