She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
