Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
