do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
