So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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