and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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