i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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