i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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