Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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