Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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