Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
