i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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