Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
