from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
