Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
