I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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