I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I pour the whiskey from now on
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
