I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
