When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
