gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
