her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
