Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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