Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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