Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
