i can't believe i had my finger in that
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
