dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize