U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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