Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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