Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
