I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
