Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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