We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
