I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
