your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you win again, gameday.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
