Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
