I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Me too!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Randomize
