What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just pee around me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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