Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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