i jhust puked up my retainher.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
