1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
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Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
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I have feelings that need drinking.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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