New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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