butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
