What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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