Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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