I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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