y did u give ur computer a hand job?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
