Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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