Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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