wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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