but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
