Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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