So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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