does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
