with your own penis?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
