Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sext me about skeletons
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
