I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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