i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Holy sore nipples Batman
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
