My cat gives me a boner
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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