If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize