Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
