she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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