I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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