Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
