Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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