I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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