omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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